See also Anger, Annoyance, Hate.

What Is It About?

Napkin Version

We often get frustrated when things aren’t going to plan, or as fast as we want them to.  We can be frustrated with someone else’s behaviour, a situation, the performance of something, or even ourselves. 

Frustration can also appear when we’re under pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, or to do something that doesn’t really fit with who we are.  These can create an internal battle between putting effort into something we don’t believe in, or facing the truth and the consequences that come with it.

Frustration helps us to see the gap between what we want and expect to happen, and what appears to be happening.

Since the gap involves our perception of reality, usually a good place to start is in with checking our assumptions around the situation.

  • Taking a step back to assess the situation with a broader perspective helps us to see what is really going on, and where things are headed. 

  • If we can then take a moment to accept the reality of the situation and the most likely outcomes (at least hypothetically), our mind can stop wrestling with it.  This will usually help the frustration to settle down.

  • With a calmer focus, it becomes easier to take a fresh look and find a better way forward for us.  By first considering what is doable for now (and has room for improvement later), we can more easily shift our mind towards finding better ways forward.  See the Working Through Frustration section for more detail.

Handling Frustration

In The Moment

Training our brain to use a relevant process helps us to focus more effectively and move on more easily. Using it often will also help our brain to catch Frustration sooner, making it easier to manage.

Self-Reflection

If the emotion feels quite troubling, it’s usually worth checking if something else is going on first.

By resolving things in ourselves and clearing any other residual emotions, we can reduce the intensity of the emotion - now and when we encounter it again in future. 

Doing so also makes us less likely to ‘attract’ other difficulties that leave us feeling the same way.

See the Processing and Clearing an Emotion page for a generic process to resolve and clear an emotion.

Working Through Frustration

The actions we choose to take in response to an emotion can make a significant difference to how well we adjust and move on from it.

The more we take genuine actions that are uplifting and ‘right’ i.e., are good for ourselves and everyone else (including the environment and other living beings) - for now, and over the long-term, the better our experience of life becomes.

Once we have accepted the reality of the situation, our mind can stop wrestling with it, and if required, shift into problem-solving mode:

  • Having a clear understanding of the situation and anything that impacts it.  A mind map may be helpful for this. 

  • Assessing what is most important to us, what we really believe about the siutation, and checking our assumptions.

  • Accepting we can’t control everything, and looking at what we can do with what we have available to us.

  • Appreciating the positives and looking at what is working well.

  • Considering any natural workings and cycles of the situation, so we can work in with these, to improve our chances of success.

  • Checking our intuition for insights and ideas.

  • Considering solutions that may not be perfect, but are doable for now, and allow room for growth/improvement in future.

  • Breaking the overall goal into manageable steps, so it’s easier to stay focussed and build positive momentum.

    If other people are involved:

  • Working with those who know the situation well, to find a good solution that works for everyone.

  • Ensuring everyone has a clear, realistic, and common view of the desired outcome, and how that will be achieved with the time, resources, and capabilities available. 

  • Allowing for any learning curve required for those who aren’t familiar with the situation, and providing guidance and patience.

  • Appreciating the value different perspectives can bring e.g. pessimists help identify risks, optimists find ways past difficulties.

  • Using calm and respectful communication, while staying focussed on constructive problem-solving and actions.

Clearing Residual Frustration

Emotional energy can stick with us, even after we have worked through and resolved whatever caused it.

There are a number of ways we can clear the energy, including doing something physical in nature, imagining the emotion leaving our body, or for more intense emotions, there is a variety of different therapies and alternative forms of energy healing that can also help.

  • The short video below has been created to help imagine emotional energy leave the body, using the following visualisation process:

    • Imagine holding a ball of energy in your hands, and ‘charging’ it with the feeling of love, and anything else that would help to offset it (especially any feelings that were missing in the situation)

    • Imagine any residual Anger energy flowing out of your body, into the  ball, and being transformed into the positive equivalent.

    • Once all the residual energy has left, imagine the ball shooting far out into the atmosphere and dissolving into pure white light energy.